Releasing Repressed Emotions

For many reasons, some of them very valid, we rarely express our emotions in the moment. For one, it may not be an appropriate time or place to express them (like, at work). For two, we may have been taught/socialized from a very young age that certain emotions, or all emotions, are not allowed. So, we repress them.

Repressing means downregulating or suppressing both your inner experience and outer expression of an emotion. However, although the expression of the emotion in mind and body may go away, the energetic signature of the emotion remains with us.

Emotional regulation means expressing emotions in healthy ways. This sometimes includes temporary repression until there is an appropriate time to feel and express the emotion. Blasting off all the time in the moment isn’t necessarily a healthy emotional response either.

The question is, where do emotions go in the meantime? It’s actually in our body where the emotion is stored.

What does this mean for us? More and more scientific research and evidence is stacking up showing the link between repressed emotions and dis-ease, both cognitive and physical. Prolonged repression of emotions increases the tension in our bodies, creating fertile ground for disease.

One study showed that over 80% of all physician visits were linked to a socioemotional challenge; only 16% were purely physical. Another study found that of 567 common complaints like dizziness and chest pain, 84% had no medical diagnosis.

The emotions stored in our body don’t necessarily release just because we stop thinking about the emotion.

Repressed emotion increases our stress, which increases inflammation, which is the mechanism behind all kinds of lovely maladies. Repressing emotions has been linked to reduced immunity, leaving us vulnerable to more diseases. It’s been linked to increased rates of cancer and heart disease. Several studies show that even among those who have diseases like cancer, the people who either mask and deny or overly vent their emotions have higher rates of death.

There is a link between healthy emotional regulation and overall health, even longevity.

There are mechanisms to move repressed emotion out of our bodies and create more pathways for health and wellbeing! This includes emotions we’ve been holding since childhood, because maybe we’ve never had “permission” to express them. It can also be as simple as a week’s worth of work stress that you’ve pushed down to make it to Friday.

“Completing the cycle” means returning to the emotion in a safe environment and doing what the body needs to release the stored emotional vibration. Many people use exercise to complete the cycle, or venting to their buddy, or journaling. It’s important to note that vegging out, like watching TV or having a few drinks, might feel good, but it’s not the same as completing the cycle. To complete the cycle, you have to revisit the stress in some way (mentally and or physically) and let it move out of your body so that the held emotional energy can dissipate.

Emotions want to have a job. They want to help us adjust our environment to either reduce the cause of a negative emotion or increase/share a positive one. Sometimes we have to figure out what an emotion wants to do in order to create the best context for completing the cycle.

Here are some examples:

• Anger/powerlessness
  High energy exercise can help build up your sense of physical power, so the emotional energy gets used for good.

• Irritation/disappointment
  Low energy exercise like walking outside can help remind you that you have ability to move through space and time. Plus we connect with the broader context of life, nature, to help give perspective.

• Excitement/happiness
  Connect with other people in positive ways. These emotions want to magnify and be shared.

• Anxiety
  Organize things in your life or physical home. Healthy anxiety dissipates when we have the right level of control over our environment.

When there are emotions that have been repressed for a long time, maybe a lifetime, it can be overwhelming to start to release all the held energy. Normal exercise or venting to a friend may not be a big enough context to hold the intensity of what needs to come out. Unfortunately, this can lead to further repression as a person feels that their emotional expression isn’t allowed, accepted, or safe.

Bigger contexts and containers for release, plus a lot of love for and patience with yourself, can eventually allow for the extremes to get out. For many people, once the full intensity of a lifetime is released (which may take years), it becomes possible to come to a more regulated daily/weekly practice of completing the cycle. I personally believe this is one of the best things we can do for our overall health!