Honoring Your Emotions
Emotions have the potential to be a beautiful, rich part of our lives.
Or they can completely derail us.
Learning how to honor and work WITH your emotions… instead of against them… makes all the difference. Emotions are a form of energy moving us to create a certain outcome.
Let me say that again – emotions give you energy to create an outcome.
I used to think of “energy” as synonymous with caffeine. I didn’t think it was energy unless it sounded like “rah-rah! I can do it!!”
But emotional energy moves us in all kinds of ways. There are energies that compel us towards stillness and rest too.
When your energy is moving in a certain direction, it is exhausting to fight it. It’s like trying to swim the opposite direction. On the other hand, knowing what your emotional energy is trying to create through you means you can work with it, swim with the current.
Emotional mastery comes from not just acknowledging, but also harnessing your emotions as an actual positive thing in your life. Even the uncomfortable or yucky ones.
Every emotion arises from an inner need that is trying to be fulfilled. If you fight the emotion and ignore the need… it will keep coming back over and over until the need is met (or the emotion completely takes over your life, consciously or unconsciously).
Versus, when you can acknowledge any emotion and address the underlying need, you move through the drama and back into the present. When you tend to your emotions, even the difficult ones, you develop MORE agency, not less. You become more effective at whatever you do. You express your authentic self in all circumstances. Emotions are part of your inner intelligence, and it makes sense that when you embody more of your intelligence, your life gets better results.
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When you pay attention to your emotions, why?
Are you looking for the reason behind the emotion? What caused it? So that you can either fix a problem, avoid the same problem in the future (if you don’t like the emotion)… or get more of something you do like?
There is nothing wrong with looking backwards for the cause of an emotion…
BUT it’s a limited perspective. The true value of emotions is what you can create going FORWARD.
Rather than figuring out what in the past created the emotion, it’s looking forward to what you can create, or do, as a result of having the emotion. Emotions can be used to motivate desired behavior – in fact that’s what emotions want to do.
Unfortunately, it often seems we are stuck with two options: either repress the emotion and try to think our way out, or express the emotion reactively, regardless of the consequences.
When I post about not repressing emotions, someone will comment “What, just blow up at everyone? That won’t work.”
When I encourage managing emotions, someone says “But my emotions are valid. Why should I repress them?”
It’s a common misconception that it’s all one or the other, repression or explosion. I used to get caught in that binary, too.
But…..
There is another way! A masterful way. Successful, healthy self-expression allows an emotion to resolve internally and meaningful changes to be made externally.
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I created a guide & workbook to support your journey towards emotional mastery.
In the handout is a chart that supports you to notice your emotions with mindfulness and get to the heart of their purpose for you.
Once you more clearly see your emotions, then you can get clarity on WHY that emotion is showing up. But not “why” as in “what triggered me to feel angry/sad/anxious today?” but rather “why” as in “What do I want to DO as a result of this emotion? What is the impact I can have? What is the outcome in my life, or the life of others, that this emotion is moving me towards?”
This gives you the freedom to both express the emotion and create meaningful changes that make a better future.
Click here to get the free PDF download today.
